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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

whoa. where does time go???

I know I mentioned a countdown the last time I posted...admittedly eons ago, in November. Cut that number roughly in half...80...and that's how many days there are until my due date. Holy crap! Though I've been through this once before, I don't think you're ever really prepared for how fast time will actually go. I don't know if it ever actually feels real until the baby comes, because I remember feeling the same way when I was waiting for Adelle to come. Though you know in your head and even more definitely with your body (haha...with all the crazy changes that happen physically throughout 40 short weeks!), I think that there are always those feelings of, "Am I ready for this?" and "How is it possible for time to have passed so quickly when it felt like it was going slowly at the time?" Or maybe that's just the way I've experienced it.

I'm eager to meet this little guy, but at the same time it's overwhelming to think of how life will change once he's here...

Adelle will have the adjustment of becoming a big sister and no longer being the one-and-only in our lives after being the center of attention for six straight years. I know that she's super excited to be a big sister, and she's always talking about how much she's looking forward to doing things with her little brother, like teaching him how to walk and reading to him and playing with him. :) She's done well with adjusting to all-day kindergarten and spending time with Mommy and Daddy in the evenings though it was a little rough the first week, so I just hope she transitions well once the baby gets here and she has school all day and has to share the attention in the evening.

Jesse will experience being a daddy to a baby for the first time; I can't wait to see him interact with our son and it makes me tear up to think about that, but at the same time I don't know how he'll be with the constant attention the baby will need from both of us, especially in the beginning. I'm not super nervous about it, but a little worried because for most of the time we've been together, we've been able to have a lot of "us time" and get away once in a while for a date night just because Adelle's been old enough to be left overnight with my parents or aunt. Once breastfeeding starts, it's going to be a while until we can get away for a night ;).

And truthfully, it's hard for me to imagine how I'll adjust. I worry about stretching myself too thin once the baby gets here. How do you love two equally? How do you give two precious babes enough attention plus your husband plus get everything accomplished that you need to? I already try to do probably too much around the house at this point and need to ask for help more than I do, so I will definitely have to ask J to pitch in more with laundry and dishes and errands and other household stuff even though my instinct is to try to take care of everything around the house since that's the way it was when I was growing up. I'll be off for the rest of the school year and over the summer, so the baby will be about four months old once I have to go back to work. Then, I know it'll be SO hard to go back and leave the baby because I'll be quite used to being a stay-at-home mommy. I know I'm lucky with the timing of when we were able to aim to have this baby ;) (haha), combined with having enough sick days to be paid while I'm on maternity I guess I just need to be content that I get to be there for the first four months of his life. I'll have to deal with having to go back when that time comes.

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